I recently purged my bathroom and closet. The countertops were totally cluttered with skincare, lotions, brushes and all manner of self care implements. Now, it looks like a staged model home. Zero clutter, every item I kept is one I actually use and it has a home out of sight. And walking into that room brings me pure joy. It is peaceful and tidy and neat and my brain feels happy to walk into that room and see it that way.
In the past, when I was obsessively on Social Media for literal hours a day I would be influenced to buy some new miracle skincare product that promised to erase years off of my face, or crepey skin off of my body, and it would get added to the bunch and the cycle would continue. My collection would outgrow the space that I had set aside for it. I would invariably not enjoy using the new product but I couldn’t throw it out because of guilt of spending money on it so it would sit there and collect dust, and I would have to see it every day and think, “Oh yeah, that was another waste.”
I am really working on breaking that cycle, for good. (I am hopeful that stopping the social media influencer feed has put an end to it. I’m now at 43 days off of Facebook and TikTok, and I DO NOT MISS IT AT ALL. ) I have a collection of skincare and body care products that I kept that I actually enjoy using, and they work for me. They don’t take up a ton of space and are easy to keep tidy and organized in a drawer or shelf.
I have learned about myself that I have to keep routines simple, or I just won’t do it. I do not require a 27 step skincare routine with a pile of products. I tried to do it, I really did, but it was a sensory nightmare to pile all of that on top of my face and feel it just sitting there. Trying to lay in my bed and not have my hair stick to the side of my face every time I turned over. BLECH! No thank you.
One of the neatest things I have noticed since ending the influencer feed is that after 43 days, I am growing to accept my body and face and myself in general just the way I am. It’s hard to be 50 with loose skin from losing over 100 pounds and face wrinkles and have 25-year-old fitness influencers shoved in your face on an endless reel all day every day.
The algorithm really did a great job of totally undermining any self-confidence I had in myself. That is starting to come back. I am starting to actually like, wait no, LOVE what I see in the mirror now. I worked my literal ass off for this. I deserve to be happy about it. I deserve to be proud of my progress.
I read a blurb one day and literally screenshot it to my phone I loved it so much
” Your relationship with yourself cannot be built entirely around improvement. At some point, you have to become someone you are allowed to enjoy being. You get to be proud of who you are.”
THIS. Is the ultimate goal.
In all of my years of existence I have always been striving to “better” myself, which hey that’s not a terrible goal, but it also breeds a belief that I am never enough, never good enough, always having to fix something somewhere. When and where does it end? I would reach a goal and then move the goal post out further. And the Algorithm feeds this belief. Start this new routine, Here’s a 75 day challenge with 14 steps a day and if you miss ONE of them you fail and have to start over. It’s all just too much and not necessary. And I am not doing it anymore.
I AM someone that I enjoy being, NOW, Just the way I am.
I AM proud of who I am and where I am in life.
Man I can’t imagine how my life would have been if I had figured this out in my 30’s instead of my 50’s. Reading my old blogs from back then sometimes break my heart. That poor girl, she hated herself so much and was NEVER Happy with any of the progress she made, and she was a ROCK STAR. That girl never half assed anything in her life, and still doesn’t. She was being sold a lie by everyone on the internet that there was no finish line, and she would never be good enough or skinny enough, or pretty enough until she reached THIS finish line. (That didn’t exist by the way.)
Yall can keep your influencer feeds. I am done. I don’t think I will ever go back to it. Life just feels lighter, happier. The world is a beautiful place folks, Look up from your phone and notice it. People are generally good. Smile at them. Most of them will smile back. Just be happy. It really and truly is not that hard. If I can do it anyone can.
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